Thursday, April 12, 2007;
its been more than 2 months since i last blog.. i cant say im busy but pure laziness... many things have happened in these two months.. most of them are negative.. actually everything was basically.. yea there was my birthday and all but that wasnt important... what was the most important thing was what happened in march... me losing the gal i love.. and it all falls to blame myself.. if i hadnt have done that.. i wouldnt have lost her..the other party can bark and blap whateva she wants but i cant b bothered.. coz she dont mean anything to me.. but the gal i love that i lost.. means everything to me...
since i lost her.. ive been thinking of all the times we had the past 3+ years... and everything was juz gone juz like that.. yea we had our downs... but i was thinkin of the ups.. the first time we met.. the first kiss basically the first everything... and also the good times.. sentosa.. vivo.. town.. clubbing everything.. i dont blam her for a single thing.. coz its all my fault.. i can beg her everyday and all but haiz.. she doesnt turn to my way.. its like i lost an organ in my body that i cant live without.. my heart...she means so much to me.. that it juz feels unwell not having her with me.. like im lost.. im lost in m own world wondering what i can do... i want her to have everything good... but haiz if she doesnt want me what can i do.... i can beg her my whole life but if nothing comes to avail what can i do... im left alone.. i dont say i dont deserve it i do... she has given me many chances to change but i screw it up all... haiz if i only got this one last chance.. i wont break it... ill do everything i can juz to have that and if i get that.. ill cherish it like i have neva cherished anything in the world... i love her.. ill always will... i want her back... i want her in my arms agen.. i want to shower love on her... i want to give her everything she wants.. i want to be the one by her side at any moment of time... right now i reli miss her..tried talking to her but haiz... it never worked out.. i wish there was something i could do.. she said nothing.. thats y i said im lost. i still remain lost.. me not having her is like me not breathing... whats left? i miss her.. yes i miss u if u r reading this.. i broke many promises ive let u down many times... i dun wanna do it anymore.. i wan u smiling and thats what that matters... i reli want u back.. im sorry i love u....
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